i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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