Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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