You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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