So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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