VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
