I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
