He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
