I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
