If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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