This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
