just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
