covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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