dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
