Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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