ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Someone came in the potted fern
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
