do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
