im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
