thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
