I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
