Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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