Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
