...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
