I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
