Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
