How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
