This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
