if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
