I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
