i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
