I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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