One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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