do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
