Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
