My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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