Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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