? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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