We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
