Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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