Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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