What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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