Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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