were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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