Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
