i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
