if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize