You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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