Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
