I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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