What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
