so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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