I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
