tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
