oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
