I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
