we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
