Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
