This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
